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By the time I was 18, I was very curious about what it would be like to be in a sexual relationship with a girl. Age 18 seemed kind of late for my first serious boyfriend-girlfriend relationship but like I said before, I'm glad I waited at least that long. In high school, I was always nervous around girls. I was even more afraid of the rumors that would be going around if I dated a girl from my school. I'm not sure my reputation was 'cool' enough for a girl to even want to be seen with me. I was also very weary about 'casual sex' as I still am. There is such a high risk of sexually transmitted diseases, pregnancy, or just getting caught up in an unwanted relationship because of sex. However, after I graduated high school, my worry about things like my in-school reputation disappeared.

My cousin, who is about the same age as me, had a girlfriend named Angela. It turned out that she kept going out with him for a while just so she could get chances to talk to me. I was so naive about things like this that I didn't even know she was interested. My cousin had to inform me of her interest. Her and my cousin broke up so she started going out with me all the time. Honestly, I guess I really didn't like her much but I was very curious about girls. The first time I had sex was kind of a low class, trashy situation. Angela acted like a simpleton, fickle, air-head who seemed like a little kid. I listened mainly to her Rap music in the car. I drove a huge, old, beat-up Lincoln Continental with several dents and a bad transmission. I bought condoms at a gas station and we parked in a lower class neighborhood hoping for some privacy. It was the day before St. Patrick's Day at about three in the morning. I was drinking cheap vodka and so was she.

We had been kissing, petting, and rubbing on each other to orgasm since we started dating a few months earlier but had never actually had intercourse before. She looked at my erect penis and said she was "...afraid of it." I still don't know exactly what she meant by that but she said it looked "...too big." I really don't know what she was expecting. I would describe my penis as average in size. Surprisingly, she was still willing. I had no idea what I was doing the first time. I just know I was really ecstatic afterwards. I was just happy I actually got aroused and had an orgasm from a girl. I guess I had been concerned for quite some time about proving that I was a real 'straight guy' since I heard my other friends talking about sex. I thought I was certain that I did like the way a woman could make me feel. Sometimes, all I would think about was how I should be doing this with somebody else that I truly found attractive.

The third time we did it had to be the best. I felt I had better control over the orgasm timing and felt confident that I would be able ejaculate. This time, I felt the awesome power of the penetration and the conquering of a woman. I could feel her inner muscles wrap around the shaft of my penis unlike the first couple of times. This time may have been different because she was less frigid and no longer a virgin. I mean, the first two times were good but this third experience gave me something to fantasize about when I was alone. I just wish I could have felt all this with someone I really loved. We continued to go out for over a year. Sometimes the sex was good and sometimes her sheer Weeble personality was enough to turn me off -- and yes, I mean 'Weeble', like the little toys that wobble back and forth but they don't fall down.

She was only a year younger than me, but mentally she seemed like a little kid. I finally outgrew her childish ways. She brought physical abuse into our relationship and I fought back. I ended up getting questioned by the police because her mother reported me. However, it was obvious Angela instigated the fights so I was released. I continued to tolerate her for a couple of weeks after that. But when I found out she had an interest in one of my friends, I gladly broke up with her and encouraged their relationship.


I met her in a store I worked in about five years after our relationship ended. She told me she had a daughter with a guy I knew from the neighborhood named Najeé but they broke up. We had a nice conversation and I could tell she matured quite a bit in personality. Having a child must have forced her to grow up. I heard she had another child since the last I saw her. She definitely deserves credit for changing her attitude, appearance, and personality. She takes on a great responsibility with her children and she seems like she makes a good mother, I suppose.

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Marlena was quite an interesting person. She was a friend of Angela, the first girl I dated, but they had totally opposite personalities. Marlena was very adult acting, almost snobbish. My favorite thing about Marlena was her brilliant eyes. She was somewhat masculine in personality, yet she always fell back on her femininity when she didn't want to do something that took too much effort. In some ways, she was a classic 'tom boy'. She claimed to be a 'traditional-skin-head', which, I think, meant she was racist but not violently racist. In reality, it seemed as if she just liked to dress like skin-head girls. Her fashion was smashing the real meaning of it but she wore it well. She did not live up to any of the requirements that her skin-head organization set up but she proudly displayed her black Dr. Martin boots with the bright white or red laces in them to proclaim her membership. She always told me how she just loved skin-head-skateboarders. I've met quite a few skateboarders but I never met any real skin-head-skateboarders. However, in her mind, I was half of what she wanted, I guess.

I was planning on having a limited relationship with this girl because she seemed quite controversial and used violent language. I tried to keep the relationship platonic but one thing led to another. Between the vodka I was always drinking and her intriguing personality, things happened. I honestly feel bad to this day because I truly believe she was in love with me, much more than my first girlfriend was. I never really told her I love her but I think my daily companionship proved that I felt something for her. I will say she had very good hygiene, which is quite desirable in a woman if one plans on giving her oral sex. I went out with Marlena for about two years.


Marlena still lives in my area. I speak to her on the Internet from time to time. She has completely abandon the skin-head look yet she's still a tough girl in many ways. She told me she wanted to become a professional female wrestler. She said she was going to actually go to school to learn how to do it. I was amazed they even had to go to school for that type of thing. Marlena seems to fall in love with guys who are not available, not interested, gay, or related to her. I don't think it's because she has some subconscious desire to lust for the unattainable. I think she just has had a couple of years of bad luck when it comes to men. I met her in person about three years after we broke up. She looks much better. She dresses well and seems to have acquired a respectable rapport with just about everyone she knows. This is a large contrast from the days when she hated mostly everyone and everything.

Marlena has many body piercings. It seems to have become a hobby for her. After she got a piercing through her tongue, through her eyebrow, through her lip, and on all different places on her ears, she decided to have her clitoris pierced. I'm still skeptical about the truth behind that, but on the other hand, I have no reason to doubt her. If anyone would do such a thing, she is the type that would do it.

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I briefly dated a bisexual girl named Kate. Kate was a very attractive girl who had a wonderful conversation personality. She had the deepest dark green eyes and the perfect face with the body to match. We did a lot of kissing and petting but I found it difficult to get attached to her because I did not like her girlfriend and felt that she was looking for relationships purely for sex. She was also still in high school when I was 20. I think she was only about 15 or 16.

I was very curious about what two girls at once would be like during sex but when the opportunity came up to do such a thing, I found it to be a turn off. I think I was probably repulsed because I did not like her lesbian girlfriend who was even younger than Kate. Her girlfriend, Lori, was the biggest turn off. She was such a butch-girl. Lori was a 15-year-old girl but she might as well have been an 11-year-old boy. Nevertheless, I would like to know what Kate is doing nowadays. Maybe I will find out some time.

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I met Heather at a part time job that I got working in a convenience store. When I first met her, she was dating another guy that worked there but for some reason, they just stopped seeing one another. Heather was five years older than me, which made for an interesting experience. She graduated from the same college that I was attending so we had some things in common right away. It seemed like we got along great immediately. Her ethnic background fascinated me. She is half Irish and half Asian. Her skin is white colored, but she has Asian eyes and some other Asian features. She also had the best looking chest.

Heather kept saying how she wanted to move out of her parents' house when I talked to her. I also was looking to move away from my parents' house. One day she asked me if I would like to rent and apartment with her down in the city. I felt my face blush very red. I didn't know what to say. I also had the typical male reaction or arousal down in the pants. Nobody ever quite gave me both of those emotions at the same time before. I had already been fantasizing about her before and I knew she kind of liked me. There was just something about this girl that I liked. I only told her that I would think about moving in with her but I was also sure to let her know I was definitely interested.

Soon after the moving discussion, we drank together and kissed. We rubbed against one another imitating sex just about every time we dated. The feeling of my shaft against my clothes rubbing against her was such an erotic experience. One time, we were at her parents' house when they were on vacation. We were doing our usual fooling around but it got late and she had to go to work the next day. I was so turned on that I could not get my erection to go down. I left the house and got into my car. When I was driving, I could feel my penis throbbing in my pants. I felt like couldn't even make the five mile distance to my home! I was going crazy thinking about what we had just done. It was starting to hurt. It felt like my pants were going to burst open from the pressure. I unzipped my pants while I was driving to allow my penis room to reach full length. I had to do something about this distraction or risk getting in an accident. I pulled over to an empty parking lot and masturbated right there in the car. I remember trembling afterwards as I felt the relaxation of the relief. I was so paranoid about someone catching me that I made sure it only took about two minutes.

It wasn't long after that when we had sex in my parents' house on the couch in my recreation room. Once again, the third time was the best, not the first or the second. I used to sleep over her parents' house and sneak out after they went to work in the morning. Heather was really something when we had sex. She was so strong. She was almost too much for me to handle. Her vaginal muscles had such a tight grip. I remember penetrating her so hard in her bed that the headboard was slamming up against the wall. I kept asking her if I was hurting her and she just responded with more intense forward thrusts. There were the times where I could not get hard enough for her powerful vagina due to prior masturbation or because I already ejaculated in my pants during the foreplay to sex. So, I used to perform this oral activity while I masturbated myself below. I would gently lick her clitoris and she would grip my head very tight with her thighs while she came to orgasm. She really got into that. My tongue ring made all this much more interesting.

I did move in with Heather eventually. Things went well for a while and the sexual freedom was great. Nobody could catch us so we could be as loud as we wanted. I had dropped out of college for a while due to lack of motivation and tried to work full-time. Things weren't going so well for me. My alcoholism seriously progressed. I found out after we lived together for a year that she had been pregnant with my child and got an abortion without my consent. I was the one that unknowingly drove her to the clinic for what I thought was a routine appointment but it turned out to be a quick abortion. I assumed she was still taking birth control. I asked her before if she was pregnant because she was acting weird but she denied it. After this, our sexual relationship was not the same. I had to move out and back to my parent's house because I was unemployed and lost in my alcoholism.


Heather never held any open resentment against me but she kept herself distant from me. She seemed to think that she would never get another boyfriend. She asked a man out at work and was turned down. Her self-esteem was very low for months. Eventually, she did find a boyfriend and that was the last I heard from her. She moved from our old apartment and never gave me her new phone number.

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