Male Sexuality Questions on Orientation and Sexual Preference
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NAME: JAM 265 Q: I'm not sure if I'm bi
or just plain straight since women do turn me on a lot more than men. However,
I like this one friend and he's showed me his hole twice. I want to put my
penis in but I'm not sure if it's what I want. Can you help? A: If you are not sure it is what you want, then there is only
one thing to do right now -- nothing. Chances are, if you have a lot of doubts
and uncertainty now, you might have regrets later.
NAME: (Anonymous) 266 Q: My Dad isn't very modest
and walks around naked sometimes. For a while now I have been sometimes
fantasizing to the thought of him naked. Is there something wrong with
me? A: Not really. However, many people tend to feel guilt if they
think or dream about a family member in a sexual way. Just because you think
about such things now does not necessarily mean that you will act on it in
a sexual way in the future. I would try to be as neutral as possible about
this situation. In other words, don't worry if the thought of your dad comes
into your mind when you're masturbating, but also don't purposely think about
him either. Just be neutral. NAME: (Anonymous) 267 Q: I sort of get turned on
by men in underwear. I need to solve this because I'm afraid one day I'll
get an erection in the locker room. A: Most men, especially young men, worry about getting erections
in the locker room. In fact, they worry about spontaneous erections much
more often than they actually happen. My solution to the problem was to spend
as little time naked in the locker room as possible. Because my mind was
on the time, I was not relaxed enough to get an erection. I don't know if
that will work for everyone, but there's not much else I could do about it
besides distract myself. Interestingly, this issue is a concern for both
homosexual and heterosexual men. NAME: Curious 268 Q: I know that homosexuality
can be prevented in many cases. Is there any case that can't be prevented?
This website also talks about the possibility of changing an unwanted
orientation, does that possibility include homosexuals who developed their
orientation in childhood or does it only include the ones that developed
it at a later time in their lives? do you know any theory that explains how
is it possible that so many heterosexuals become bisexual or gay after having
sex with the same sex meantime homosexuals that have sex with the opposite
sex cannot become bisexual or straight at all? A: (1) Personally, I don't think all homosexuality is perverted.
It can occur in very loving relationships between two people who happen to
be the same gender. (2) It is actually not this website that claims to change
sexuality. What you read was an article that was copied with permission from
the author. These questions are best directed towards him. NAME: Boy 269 Q: I fell in love with 3 women
so far, but for the last year I've been going to a strip club, it's so addicting,
I have actually become more attracted to exotic dancers than any other type
of girls. I also enjoy a table dance a lot more than making out with a
girlfriend. I don't feel very good about myself, I feel very superficial,
but this addiction is powerful. Very few times I do feel romantic feelings
towards women, but not nearly as much to my obsessive attraction to this
exotic dancers that I don't even know. Do you think this addicting activity
will eliminate my love and spiritual connection .with another women? I'm
I a sexaholic? A: You might be a sexaholic. Maybe you can find out here
http://sa.org. NAME: Joe 270 Q: Me and my friend beat each
other off.. I know I'm not gay, but I feel so aroused by him. What should
I do about this situation? Should I stop? A: You have to decide what to do with your sexuality, but I can
make some statements that may help you put this into perspective. You can
have the benefits of arousal and pleasure, but also, you have the burden
of putting yourself in a position to make difficult decisions regarding the
friendship and the "situation". Many heterosexual men have done what you
described. It's not really an issue of "gay" or "straight" preferences. However,
it does bring sexual activity into a friendship, which can complicate everything.
It is true that these masturbation-type activities can lead to experimentation
with other types of sexual activity (such as oral sex and sexual intercourse).
However, mutual masturbation does not always lead to other types of sexual
activity. NAME: (Anonymous) 271 Q: I like to label myself
as bisexual, but I don't find women attractive at all, I find them pretty
but I don't get turned on by them, but when I get into a relationship I love
and care for them. But with men, I find them a big turn on and I enjoy sex
with them! How would you label me? Gay, bisexual, or straight? A: I wouldn't label you based on what you told me above because
it sounds like you are not 100% gay, straight, or bisexual. In reality, most
people are not 100% when thoughts, actions, dreams, and past experiences
are taken into account. However, it sounds like you are sure you are sexually
attracted to men. If that is definite, you may be either gay or partially
bisexual (yet maybe not entirely gay). I think it is best to find out who
you are based on how you feel about companionship and long-term relationships.
This can take some time and thought. You never mentioned having fallen in
love with a man yet, so maybe you need to take a break, experience life a
for a while, and get to know people for a long time before having any sex. 271 FOLLOW-UP: I haven't actually fallen in
love with a man, but I have with a woman (well, I think it was love). I felt
very strongly towards her. The thing is I'm only 15 years old. I have already
come out the closet as bi, but not to my parents. My school knows and all
of my friends know, but not my family. A: Unfortunately, young men that choose to become sexually active
at early ages sometimes develop the sort of confusion and/or consequences
you mentioned. Of course these problems can happen when you are older too.
However, having to deal with serious sexual relationship issues can afford
to wait a few years if this issue is overwhelming. You will find that no
amount of sex will answer your questions about sexuality and sexual preference.
Sexuality is more than the physical contact or pleasure. There are psychological
bonds that occur between two partners that enable an individual to discover
his true sexual preference. You could be gay, straight, or bisexual. I can't
answer that for you. The only thing we know for sure is that you are 15,
and it is OK to let yourself have time (years) to figure these things out
before you post a label on yourself in front of your family, etc. NAME: (Anonymous) 273 Q: How do you know if your
gay or not? A: You have to figure this out by being patient, getting older,
and socially dating. If you do not know if you are gay or not, there is no
need to hurry in finding this out. If you are open-minded and honest with
yourself, you will naturally find out when the time is right for you to
know.
011 Q: What is Metrosexuality
and Heterosexuality? A: Heterosexuality is a sexual preference for the opposite sex
(male-female partnerships). Metrosexuality is not actually a sexual preference.
It's basically a philosophy that a man can cross gender barriers without
sacrificing his masculinity. A man who is a metrosexual may see that it is
practical for woman to carry a hand-bag or a purse because they can easily
store necessary items as they walk around. In turn, he might purchase something
called a "man-bag", which is like a purse... but carried by a man. Metrosexuals
could technically be heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, or anything
else in-between. Nevertheless, a "stereotypical metrosexual" would probably
be a man that is "straight" but could be mistaken as having "gay" characteristics
regardless of their actual sexual preference.
039 Q: When I masterbate, I usually
think that I'm a woman n a guy is having sex with me n I also touch my nipples
too. I also help my elder brother masterbate while sucking his nipples. Am
I a gay? A: I can't say. You'll have to find that answer out by developing
long term relationships as you get older. Just because you described what
you've done above does not mean you are "gay" or will necessarily become
"gay" in the future. Nevertheless, if this issue bothers you, you may want
to stop these actions with your brother. It is true that many males have
experimented with other men (including their brothers), but you shouldn't
do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. NAME: (Anonymous) 064 Q: I've masturbated for the
last 4 years. When I masturbate, I usually have a really great orgasm even
if I'm not horny. By great I mean I ejaculate a lot. How long will this last?
(2) I am also gay. I find it arousing when I masturbate while I am wearing
another mans boxers/briefs. Is this wrong? A: Personally, I don't think it is "wrong" as long as it doesn't
become an obsession that ends up causing you or someone else harm. Possibly,
it's just what turns you on. I have no idea how long anything like that will
last. There is no what I could predict that. NAME: me 117 Q: I have masterbated my friend several
times before and he has returned the favor. It aroused me. We are straight,
but I have been thinking of giving him oral sex so he will give me oral sex.
Is this wrong? A: This or any other website can not tell you what is definitely
right or wrong. However, I can tell you that having oral sex with your friend
is going to be taking the friendship to a new level of sexual contact, which
might also bring on more of a sexual bond between the two of you. This could
complicate the relationship. Your friend may have the idea that you are now
his sexual partner, which is fine if that is what you both want. You'll have
to talk with him to find out what he wants from the relationship you have.
You need to discuss your expectations with each other.
It seems that since you are writing this question and wondering if it is
wrong, you may have some doubts as to whether you actually want to do this
or not. I think if you are having doubts or questions about doing it, then
it must not feel natural or entirely "right" to you. At the end of any day,
it will be you that will have to decide what is right for you and what you
feel comfortable and natural doing when it comes to sex. I can't simply sit
down to answer a question like this and say, "Sure, it is OK if straight
guys give each other oral sex." I also can not say for sure if two guys that
have a strong desire to give each other oral sex are entirely "straight".
Those decisions and labels are for you to decide for yourself. NAME: (Anonymous)
121 Q: I grow up in a fatherless house,
and I'm just wondering if you could lead me to the right path for info on
this -- info on how to feel and think like a man. A: I think that issue is a family dynamics problem. We don't
cover that sort of thing on this website. However, there is a Catholic website
that has an article you might be interested in called
Boys
Lost in Fatherless Homes -- Most of the stuff I found on the Web
was from religious sources. I'm not sure if that's what you're seeking, but
it might help you to realize that you are not alone. You might want to search
Google.com
- Fatherlessness for other sites that are not from a religious
perspective.
